Happiness is something I feel very strongly about. Everybody deserves to be happy, but so many people aren't. I know this is a long tip, and I apologize for that, but I have a lot to say on the subject.
If I didn't explain something well, or if you have any questions, or thoughts, or ideas, or requests, or anything, you can always comment below, or PM us. I'm always happy to answer, and to help, so don't be afraid to ask. If you want to share any thoughts or stories about happiness itself, or anything else in this tip, you can comment those as well - I'd really love to hear them.
How to be Happy:
+decide you're going to be happy. Then start. It's that easy. You can't choose the circumstances in your life, but you can choose how you deal with them. You can be negative about it - I hate my life, everything's stupid, everything's wrong, I hate myself, I hate my body, I know it's all going to go wrong - or you can be positive. It's up to you. Your surroundings are a circumstance. But happiness is a choice.
+stop trying to be something you aren't. Don't try to look like something you aren't, don't try to like something just because people think you should. In all honesty, the best way to do this is to ignore the pressures around you. I don't hardly pay any attention to trends - I'm aware of them, but I don't follow them at all, and I couldn't care less. I wear the clothes I like, shop at the places I like. Just because somebody tells you to do something doesn't make it the right thing to do. Just because everybody else is doing it doesn't make it right. Do what YOU think is the right thing to do.
+stop worrying. Seriously, worry is a huge happiness crusher. It's upsetting, and it's not healthy at all. Just don't do it. What's the point? Worrying doesn't get you anywhere, it doesn't prevent anything, and it just takes away from your health and happiness. When you find yourself worrying, ask yourself how big a deal it really is. Just say, "so what?", or "what can I do about it?", or maybe "worrying isn't going to get me anywhere." And then think about something else.
+spend time by yourself. If you want to know who and what you are, you have to give yourself time to get to know YOU. And no, being on the computer does not count as you time. Do something on your own. Just sit on your bed and think. Go for a long walk by yourself, or just go stand out in the yard for a while and watch the sun set. If you're okay with yourself, if you know who you are, you don't depend on anyone else. You can be happy within yourself, and that's really big.
+love your body. This one's huge. If you don't love your body, how can you possibly be happy living in it? Pay attention to the parts of you consider to be your strengths - your small waist? tanned shoulders? your nose? - and love the parts that aren't. So maybe your thighs are big. Mine are too. It's part of life - thighs are big. So? It doesn't destroy who you are, just because your thighs are a little bigger than you'd like. What's the big deal? I mean, really? Instead of looking at the negatives, look at the positives. They're strong. They carry you every day. They walk for you, run for you, hold you when you're standing and when you're sitting. Love them because they're a part of you. They're part of what you are. Admire the smooth skin, the tan, the muscles you can see underneath when you actually use them. You're going to be way happier if you stop trying to be something you're not and start loving what you really are.
+love who you are, as a person. And even more than that, do things as a person that you can love. Look at what you admire in people, and try to emulate those traits. Behave in ways you love, treat other people in ways that you'd admire if you were the one being treated in that fashion. Love the way you act on your own. Love the things you love, and love yourself for loving them. Love yourself completely. You are the one thing in the world most deserving of your love. How can you not love yourself? You are yourself. Do what you love, act the way you love, and love yourself for it.
+love yourself and your body without anything else. Could you love your body even when it doesn't have any clothes on? Any makeup? Nothing to hide it, nothing to "fix" it, nothing to alter it in any way? Could you love yourself when you're purely you, and nothing else? I've come to a point where I can. If I was in a place of sheer nothingness except myself, I would still love who I am. My body still bothers me at times, but I've very nearly come to terms with it. To be happy, you have to be okay with what you are.
+don't beat yourself up. Don't get angry with yourself. If you mess up, learn from your mistakes, but don't cut yourself to pieces for making it. Everybody screws up. Be okay with what you did, and love yourself even when you're flawed.
+don't hate anybody. There's an amazing quote about this, but I can't remember who said it, and I can't remember the exact words either. But it's something along the lines of, "You can't hate anyone you really know." And it's true. If you really, truly know someone, you can't possibly hate them. There are so many beautiful things about every single person. Even if you hate certain traits, you can't possibly hate them entirely. That's a quote I hold very close, because it's something that rings true to me.
+take good care of yourself. Your mind, your body. Healthiness is happiness.
+surround yourself with people who make you feel happy. Just because you're friends with somebody doesn't mean they're good people to be with. Ask yourself when you're with one of your friends, or when you're thinking about them, or when you're waiting for them to text back: Does this person make me feel happy? Or inadequate? Do I feel brighter for being with them? Or like I've got a problem? The biggest question, for me: "Does this person make me feel big or small?" Do I grow off the relationship, or does it bring me down? Be honest with yourself. People who make you feel small aren't helping you - they're hurting you. They're bringing you down. Don't encourage those relationships - cut them off altogether, or at least stop feeding them. Invest yourself in people who make you feel like you shine - those are the ones who are going to take you far.
+do things that make you feel beautiful, whatever that may be. Does taking a long soak make you feel beautiful? Going for long walks at dusk? Wearing lots of bracelets and playing your guitar? Whatever it is, do lots of it. Try other things. Explore, and pamper yourself. You are worth it.
+make your world beautiful. Surround yourself with things you love. Pick more flowers. Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful. And see the beauty in the things you might not have chosen yourself, but that you can't change.
+listen to music that makes you feel happy. Stop listening to stuff that makes you feel inadequate, or angry, or hateful - these things are NOT healthy. On the same note, avoid websites, books, magazines, and anything else that makes you feel anything negative. They're not healthy, and there's no point.
+turn. off. the. tv. TV is NOT healthy, it's hurtful. It's extremely negative, and it does not make you happy. The shows are hurtful and hateful, all the news is bad. Turn. It. Off. If you can't turn it off entirely, then at least cut back. My family never watches anything anymore except the NFL and NHL (football and hockey). That's it. Limit how much you watch a week, or what. And remember, when you are watching, that not all people are as hateful as those on TV - they're not good role models. And for every bad thing that comes on the news, hundreds or even thousands of good deeds were done that nobody bothered to report. It's only news if it's bad - isn't that sick? Take this as an example: the Boston Marathon. The event that day that made the news was the bombing. But think about how many good deeds must have gone on that day that nobody bothered to report, at that race. All the people who helped each other, lent a hand, smiled at the cripple on the corner, lent change for a parking meter, helped the old woman with her bags, returned a lost scared kid to his dad, let the kid up to the front row so he could see his mom cross the finish line. And after the bombing, think of all the people who helped each other, held each other, healed each other. There were thousands of acts of heroism that day. There are every day. Remember that, when the news makes it sound like the world's a bad place - it's not. Some people are bad. Some people want to hurt you. But for every one of them, there are hundreds of people out there who are willing to drop what they're doing to help.
+pay attention to the things that make you happy. Make note of it. And then do more of these things. Surround yourself with more of them. Not necessarily instant gratification - little fixes like shopping sprees at the mall. They might make you happy, and they might not. Pay attention to the happiness itself - is it shallow? Deep? Nervous? Peaceful? Get to know your happiness, as much as anything else. You can't create what you don't know.
+don't rely on anyone else for your happiness. Happiness is something you do yourself.
+love everybody, and everything. Love the people in your life, love the places, love the way the water moves in the ocean, the dew on the grass, the sun and the rain. Love your friends for what they are, love the people you pass on the street for existing. Love is one of the healthiest emotions, for you and for everyone else. Don't be afraid of it. You don't have to love everyone the way you love your parents, or your boyfriend, or your best friend. Love them simply for existing. Love the tree in your backyard. Love the roads you drive on. Love is happiness. Feel it, live it, love it.
+pay attention to your happiness. Allow it to be a reason to be happy. Keep a journal of things that make you happy, or things you love. Collect things that make you happy - pictures, objects, bottle caps, scarves, earrings.
+be at peace. This is the hardest thing to do, but the biggest. If you're at peace, you'll be happy. You just have to find it.
Stay happy, girls. And stay beautiful.